“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
“I want you to send a gift to the person you have the most difficulty with, especially when they make you angry. You’re holding on to resentment. It’s like a knot in your stomach preventing anything from coming to life. You won’t be able to give birth to new ideas unless you face your fear.” This is the advice I got from one of my mentors. In shock, I tried to come up with any excuse I could find. I recounted the old familiar stories and one after another he turned them down. I knew he was right and I didn’t like it. I’m a spiritual being who meditates every single day, yet why was this so difficult?
I spent years holding on to resentment. It became a part of me and I didn’t know how to live without it. The story I had created had become part of my identity. I would have moments where I would be ok, but steadily the unforgiveness would creep in and manifest in the most unexpected moments. It would show up in the form of depression and no matter how much I tried to pretend that I was ok, I was never really at peace.
I made a lot of excuses and judgments. I got angry and tried to convince myself of how right I was to be hurt, replaying all of the painful events. I continued to justify the way I was feeling. Creating a wall between myself and the person, recounting all of the negative moments. In my heart, I knew that the very reason that I didn’t want to send the gift meant that I must. I needed to do for myself and not the other person. It was the only way to strengthen the relationship within myself. I had allowed this fractured situation to have a hold on me, subtly controlling me.
I decided to send a small gift on my birthday with a simple note expressing thanks. I had no idea how it would be received but sent it without any expectations. A few days later I received a phone call, the person was in tears saying how much my note and gesture touched them. My feelings of hurt were instantly replaced with compassion. I realized how much of a prisoner I was to my own judgments and ideas. Playing the victim felt so comfortable but removing the shackles of unforgiveness felt so freeing. I could finally let go of that part of my life. I could finally stop the blame.
So many of us carry years of hurt, wearing it like a badge of honor. Replaying the same moments, not taking into account the other persons story or experience. Letting it hinder our present, blaming the past for our current circumstances. How would life be if we could move on from the pain? What could we accomplish if we weren’t distracted by the things that have already happened?
Is there someone in your life you could show more grace and forgiveness to? Might that person even be you? Every time we hold onto unforgiveness we are punishing ourselves, dimming our own beauty. We create
You deserve to live a life free of resentment, but the only one who can dissolve those feeling are you. You alone have the ability heal your wounds and live the life you’ve always wanted.
I invite you to send a note or a gift to the person you have the most difficulty with. It will be hard to do and you may face a world of resistance but I promise you’ll feel liberated after.
Here’s a beautiful meditation for the heart center, when our heart center is strong we can easily forgive and we attract
Sending you so much love xoxox