For years the holidays would send me into an anxiety-filled depression. It would always begin slowly and without warning. I would start to get sensitive than the mood swings with come. There are times where I would even pick fights with loved ones. Subconsciously I was trying to take the focus off of how I was feeling. The holidays always made me feel uncomfortable. For many years I couldn’t understand why I felt so unsettled, why everything always seemed to bubble up. There’s something about the hustle and bustle of this time that sets emotions on fire. Tensions become high, emotions begin to surface. The happiest time of the year for many becomes the worse. The holidays can serve as a reminder of the dysfunction some face in their lives, the people they’ve lost and the relationships they wish they had.     

  Growing up there wasn’t a significant focus on the holidays. For many years it was my mother and I celebrating with whatever friend she had at the time, there were some years where she was in good terms with her sisters, and we would spend the holidays with them. Then there were the years where she dated Jim my Father figure and we would celebrate as a family. The most cherished memories I have are from this time of my life. I was heartbroken when they broke up, I felt as if the only family I knew was shattered. In adulthood I found myself spending the holidays with friends and their families. I would come up with excuses as to why I couldn’t go back home, but no matter how much I tried to avoid my feelings they would always show up announced. 

   In my late 20s, I began to realize that unless I healed and created harmony within myself, nothing would ever be right. I would continue to feel unhappy, unworthy, and unstable. I would carry these feelings in every situation, and I did. I allowed it to skew my perception of reality. To shift my perspective quickly from joy to sadness. I was taking for granted the beauty in my life. I was being ungrateful and in my ungratefulness, I was taking so many things for granted. I realized that I had so much to be thankful for and that once I changed my thinking the possibilities were endless. It’s easy to forget all of the blessings in life and focus on the negative.  All of the hard moments in past have happened for my highest good and exactly as they should because without these moments I could never experience and know what happiness is. 

 

The holidays may leave you feeling overwhelmed, with many different feelings surfacing. Allow them to come, honor them and let them go. Be gentle with yourself and those around you.

 
  No matter what you’ve been through it is possible to create harmony within yourself but it all begins with you. Remember you can control your outcome, you hold the power to change your life. This Thanksgiving and throughout the next year I challenge you to remember to make a point to practice gratitude. In a notebook write something good that’s happened to you, leave it by your bed and open anytime you need a reminder. 

 

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”- Oprah Winfrey

Here are 11 things I’m thankful for:
1. My husband
2. Gigi, she teaches me about patience and unconditional love every day 
3. My spiritual practice 
4. The ability to forgive
5. Having a husband/friends who push me even when I resist it the most 
6. The community I’ve built 
7. My family 
8. My sensitivity 
9. My body and how it supports me
10.My breath and the ability to change my mood
11.The ability to experience the beauty of a sunrise and sunset and with it new beginnings 
 
If you’re feeling overwhelmed take a moment to breathe. Here’s a beautiful meditation that will help you through any challenges you may be facing. 
This meditation is especially useful for dealing with stressful relationships and with past family issues. It addresses phobias, fears, and neuroses. It can remove unsettling thoughts from the past that surface into the present. It can take difficult situations in the present and release them into the Hands of Infinity.
Posture: Sit in Easy Pose with a straight spine.
Mudra: Place the hands at the center of the chest with the tips of the thumbs touching each other and each of the fingers touching the corresponding fingers on the opposite hand. Leave space between the palms. The fingertips are pointing upward.
Eye Focus: Look at the tip of the nose.
Breath: Breath 4 times per minute: inhale 5 seconds, hold 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds.
Time: Continue for 11 minutes or until you feel relief from the stress.
Source: https://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/authentic-relationships/stress-relief-and-clearing-emotions-past 
What are some things that you’re thankful for? I’d love to hear it!
Happy Thanksgiving!